A Viagra advert with the following text appended, a selection of random quotes. It seems to work rather well as one stream of consciousness. I think I recognise the work of the Marx brothers, St Augustine on chastity, Conan Doyle, Asimov on computers and Homer Simpson on beer, or is it Dave Barry ?
Begin doing what you want to do now (unless you are reading this in the public library - LT). We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand and melting like a snowflake. Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth. If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars. The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober. Who so loves believes the impossible. Distance between two hearts is not an obstacle; rather a great reminder of just how strong true love can be. I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them. Solitude, if rightly used, becomes not only a privilege but a necessity. Only a superficial soul fears to fraternize with itself. Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws. Those who are willing to sacrifice essential liberties for a little order, will lose both and deserve neither. Very little is needed to make a happy life. It is all within yourself, in your way of thinking. Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law. I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means. I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon. But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near. There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread. Love takes up where knowledge leaves off. Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them. A book may lie dormant for fifty years or for two thousand years in a forgotten corner of a library, only to reveal, upon being opened, the marvels or the abysses that it contains, or the line that seems to have been written for me alone. In this respect the writer is not different from any other human being: whatever we say or do can have far-reaching consequences. I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have. Yesterday is a dream, tomorrow but a vision. But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a vision of hope. Look well, therefore to this day. Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact. The great thing about television is that if something important happens anywhere in the world, day or night, you can always change the channel. Distance between two hearts is not an obstacle; rather a great reminder of just how strong true love can be. What the world really needs is more love and less paper work. Very little is needed to make a happy life. It is all within yourself, in your way of thinking. What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? The game of life is not so much in holding a good hand as playing a poor hand well. I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right. Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me. When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories. Why is it drug addicts and computer afficionados are both called users? A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose. Love is the immortal flow of energy that nourishes, extends and preserves. Its eternal goal is life. Love is always bestowed as a gift - freely, willingly and without expectation. We don't love to be loved; we love to love. If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant; if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome. Autumn is the time when seasons merge because of bare necessity. No matter what looms ahead, if you can eat today, enjoy today, mix good cheer with friends today enjoy it and bless God for it. When a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it. A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation. Love is the beauty of the soul. Can miles truly separate you from friends... If you want to be with someone you love, aren't you already there? What do you take me for, an idiot? Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away. All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident. Give me a museum and I'll fill it. The great thing about television is that if something important happens anywhere in the world, day or night, you can always change the channel. When you gaze long into the abyss, the abyss also gazes into you. Black holes are where God divided by zero. Compassion alone stands apart from the continuous traffic between good and evil proceeding within us. Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. What the world really needs is more love and less paper work. Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. Friends are as companions on a journey, who ought to aid each other to persevere in the road to a happier life. Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe. A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. Dancing is silent poetry. Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance. A positive attitude will not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe. I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use. Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together. All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher. Books are the shoes with which we tread the footsteps of great minds. The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad. His ignorance is encyclopedic It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity. The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head. It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion. From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it. While we are postponing, life speeds by. Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside them was superior to circumstances. Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it. Give me chastity and continence, but not yet. The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good. First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win. Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. Dancing is silent poetry. A kiss makes the heart young again and wipes out the years. All right, Brain, I don't like you and you don't like me -- so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.
Things that make you go hmmmmm
4 hours ago