Saturday, June 30, 2007

Darwin Awards - Early Leaders

As my son said "They're letting down terrorists all over the world".

If every potential jihadi in the UK would just set fire to himself before crashing into Glasgow Airport I'd find it highly satisfactory.

The Philosopher's not impressed with the New Wave Of British JihadLaban Tall 2007). Neither's Tim, who weighs in with some handy hints about oxidiser, while the Guardian offers advice on improving the anti-personnel effect of nail shrapnel.

But no-one seems to have noticed the as-far-as-I-know unique feature of this act - the first terrorist attempt against Britain which doesn't target England.

When the murderous bums in Labour MP Chris Mullin's Rolodex wanted a spectacular, they killed and destroyed in London, or Birmingham, or Manchester. They always avoided Scotland and Wales - after all, weren't they fellow-Celts and brothers under the English jackboot ?

Either the "Glaswegian sizzlers" are too dim to realise that England is the traditional venue for attempted mass murder, or they're ahead of the game as politicians, if not as engineers, and have realised that the rulers of Britain are actually Scots !

UPDATE - my more considered view :

The New Wave Of British Jihad is IMHO very poor quality compared with its illustrious predecessors. If the "Fantastic Four" were alive today they'd be turning in their graves.

I'd been wondering for a long time why science education was being dumbed down so much, to seeming government indifference.

The fact that these guys can't put anything that makes a bang together is a tribute to our education system. I understand now that Blair and Brown have been playing the long game - ensuring that anyone who hates them won't have the skills to do anything about it.

If those guys had gone to a decent privately run educational establishment - say a madrassa in Waziristan - they'd have been far more successful in their chosen career.

UPDATE2 - Lenin : "They are the underachievers of global terrorism".

Rachel : "Cottage-industry terrorism, by under-achievers who are too clueless to so the maths/science stuff about fuel bombs, and who can't drive without crashing into bins, - or so Darwinian-Award dim that they set themselves on fire before throwing the Molotov cocktail ..."

UPDATE3 - Houston, we have a problem.

UPDATE4 - William Rae, Chief Constable of Strathclyde, with a pre-emptive "Muslims fear backlash".

Osama Saeed, Scottish spokesman for the Muslim Association of Britain, said he was also keeping "optimistic" that the men were not terrorists, and said he would be "astounded" if the facts proved otherwise.

In another development, it emerged that the Royal Alexandra Hospital in Paisley, where one suspect in the airport attack was taken, had to be partially evacuated after a "suspicious device" was found on his person. Police refused to confirm that it was a suicide belt.

Eyewitnesses at the airport spoke of incredible scenes as one of the car occupants attempted to throw what appeared to be a petrol bomb into the passenger area after the car rammed the doors.

He emerged from the vehicle and collapsed on the floor with his clothes ablaze, while another man who was in the car was restrained. After airport staff extinguished his burning clothes the man got up and fought with the police shouting "Allah, Allah".

Mohammad Sarwar, Labour MP for Glasgow Central, which is home to the largest Asian community in Scotland, warned against jumping to any conclusions.

I guess I should point out that these are all press reports - although a lot of the detail seems to be from eye-witnesses rather than the police. I still haven't got over the coverage of that dark-skinned guy, wearing a bulky padded jacket on a hot day, who ran from the police and jumped the barriers to get on a tube train.


Anonymous said...

Even the 7/7 guys were too effing thick to realise the cut'n'cover of the District & Circle lines worked to mitigate their evil intent...

Anonymous said...

Im sorry to see the slightly toasted guys at Glasgow didnt get the full de Menezes treatment as they exited their vehicle.

They've made a bargain, they will give their lives for the cause. Fair enough. They must always be held to their side of the bargain in the event they dont survive their terrorist act.

Anonymous said...

Ooops! "in the event they do survive their terrorist act.

Anonymous said...

'...the first terrorist attempt against Britain which doesn't target England.'

Wish you all the best over there, and hope the above will at least give the Yanks some pause in that they habitually refer to British events as happening in 'England'.


JuliaM said...

Am I the only one to find the jeering of the hapless terrorists and their 'failed attempts' slightly missing the point?

The point of terrorism is to cause terror (and to a certain degree, disruption). They have achieved that, whether they kill dozens as in 7/7, or none, as this weekend.

Now, every suspect car will cause mass disruption (see Liverpool) and fuel the political machine's never ending search for more oppressive restrictions.

I don't think the people behind this are so dim, whatever the IQ level of their footsoldiers....

Anonymous said...

There is little point in being smug. Only luck saved the British from embarrassing lapses of security, just as it has been FBI information that has saved Britain from earlier plots. If we knew how limited MI5 success is in penetrating these cells smugness would be a very ianppropriate response.

It is fortunate that IRA men have not been available to provide technical assistance, nor that a good supply of electricians or chemists has been available to these people.

All things can be made to work in the end and I am very surprised they have not tried to kill judges or do an Airey Neave beneath the is clear that professionalism has not yet been brought to bear as it was on 9/11.....which suggests that such actions are harder to organise without assistance...and whether Al-qaeda did in fact have an Intelligence Service (Iraq, ISI, Syria ?) helping them in the 9/11 attack

Anonymous said...

I have to agree with "the all-seeing eye"
As satisfying as it is to see jihadi self immolation we should not be smug about this. One wonders what would have happened if they had the Iranian know how which is being employed to deadly effect in Iraq. Surely it is only a matter of time before someone gives these clowns some science lessons and the result then will be vastly different.

Laban said...

Yes, but at least the science lessons won't be funded by the state. Science in UK schools is so bad no jihadist worth his salt could get anything useful out of it.

Anonymous said...

These attacks in such short time have come at very convient time for the government.

They now have an excuse to bring on ID cards and 90 days detention. Just like the government in
V for Vendetta. If you know what I mean

Anonymous said...

the government in
V for Vendetta.

another trashy film telling us the threat is from The Right and that Christians and heterosexuals are all becomes so awfully trite

Obviously we would be unwise to depart from our current Nirvana for anything different.....

Why are films so banal ? Does Noam Chomsky script them all ?

Anonymous said...

Laban: "...the first terrorist attempt against Britain which doesn't target England..."

The IRA did quite a bit of terrorist targeting in Northern Ireland too you know, and that is certainly part of Britain (much to their chagrin).

As far as targeting England goes, Scotland and Wales weren't targeted not because of who they are, but because of who they weren't - i.e. not English (the English being seen as the oppressors to the likes of the IRA).

Additionally, if you want to get the attention of the British government, concentrating on London (co-incidentally in England), the home of the British government, is a pretty good choice...

Anonymous said...

"The point of terrorism is to cause terror (and to a certain degree, disruption). They have achieved that, "

umm, no, more like howls of derision.

There is a good reason why Islamic countries are backward....

Anonymous said...

"the first terrorist attempt against Britain which doesn't target England.'