Top Comedian At Labour Conference

Charles Clarke has vowed to "eliminate" anti-social behaviour and disrespect in society by the time of the next general election "whenever it comes".

Meanwhile in the real world ...

The Old Bailey heard how the youth and his 14-year-old friend, who was found guilty of blackmail, waged a campaign of intimidation against the victim's 13-year-old son. The pair, who denied the charges, hung round the boy's home last December, demanding he give them £20 and a copy of the computer game, Grand Theft Auto. The 14-year-old warned him to hand over the game and the cash or he would kill his father.

Neither of the defendants, both from Brixton, south London, can be named because they are juveniles. Judge James Stewart QC also ordered that the bullied boy, who gave evidence against the defendants, should not be identified, meaning his father cannot be named. The court heard the boy told his 35-year-old father about the threats and on December 16, the defendants were again cycling around the boy's home.
The father tried to phone police but was put on hold, and, ignoring his wife's and son's pleas, went outside to remonstrate with the pair. The older boy stabbed him with a single wound to the heart. He managed to stagger home, where his family called an ambulance to rush him to hospital, but he died within a couple of hours.

The Guardian's crime correspondent, Rosie Cowan, is a bit of a comedienne too. She thinks the killer is 'facing life imprisonment'.

Evens he's out by age 20, 100-1 against him being still inside at 25.

And the 14 year old, who told the boy his father would be killed ? Out by 16 for sure, in the unlikely event he goes away. After all, you shouldn't put children in prison, should you ?