A socialite and pioneer for women's rights in the City has committed suicide at a controversial clinic in Switzerland which promotes voluntary euthanasia, after she discovered that she was terminally ill.
Elisabeth Rivers-Bulkeley, who campaigned for women to be admitted to the Stock Exchange and was a founder member of Annabel's nightclub, secretly flew to the Dignitas clinic in Zurich last December.
Shortly before leaving for Switzerland, she had put her husband, Robert, a former Lloyds underwriter who is understood to be seriously affected by dementia, in a residential home. The couple, who had retired to live on the grounds of Gosford House, a stately home in East Lothian near Edinburgh, have no children.
What did Lionel Shriver say ?
"Yes, there is something deeply wrong about this notion of living your life purely for its own sake. You could have one generation (without children) that has a wonderful time, going out to restaurants and holidays in France. Then the human race disappears."
She points out this is already happening in the West, which then has to import immigrant labour with all its social problems. "It is very tricky. I am well aware it is women like me who are ruining the pension system and the health service because we are not producing people who can pay into it. This is something whispered behind doors: all the wrong people are having children. Women who are well-educated, with money — you are not supposed to say this — are white and are not reproducing. They have a lot to pass on. I could have passed on a lot and now I won't."
Well, Of Course We Will, Emma…
19 hours ago
28 comments:
Isn't it wonderful. Whether women becoming totally obsessed with "careers" was ever a good idea is irrelevant. The women who believed such things will simply make themselves extinct within a generation or two. Mother Nature and evolution have conspired against such feminist extremes. Women that quietly believed that raising kids is important will reign supreme.
Meanwhile Middle-England plods on, shakes its head and the road-accident called the liberal-left, and continues to reproduce and keep t al together.
I am a fairly well-educated (and desperately maternal) thirtysomething woman who would love to have children. I shall die childless not because I don't want to reproduce but because of the dearth of decent men. The options available to Afro-Caribbean women are very limited. My choices are restricted to gun-toting drug dealers and complete wasters (I know I'm being a bit crude, but there's more than an element of truth here).
A couple of gay male acquaintances, knowing of my plight, have offered their services as sperm donors. However, that is morally problematic in that it would reduce any resulting children to the level of consumer goods, and sorry if this is unfashionable but I'm an advocate of the married heterosexual nuclear family unit.
Lionel Shriver is right in her observation that the wrong sort of people are reproducing, but the issues are a bit more complex than the selfish career woman thing. I'd love to be barefoot and pregnant, but feel it would be grossly irresponsible to procreate without a reliable committed life-partner to share the task of raising well-adjusted, socially-productive and morally sound individuals.
The options available to Afro-Caribbean women are very limited. My choices are restricted to gun-toting drug dealers and complete wasters
Then don't limit your choices to Afro-Caribbean men. I'm sure lots of young chaps would welcome the opportunity to settle down with a witty, intelligent lady like you....Try The Spectator's lonely hearts, perhaps?
"My choices are restricted to gun-toting drug dealers and complete wasters"
Is it my imagination or are black women becoming more middle-class and leaving black men behind? Trevor Phillips of the CRE said much the same thing a while back.
I think the problem of women reaching 30something and not having a family is still partly due to the feminist cause. The reality is that women still need to focus on getting married by the time they are 25 if they want kids. If they go past this age without finding a life partner it gets more difficult simply because 30+ women have to compete against the 25 year olds. Feminists will say that's because men are a**holes - and that may be fair enough - but it's a buyers market! The cruel realities of life don't hit home until its too late. Nature doesn't give a monkey's for new fangled ideas like education and careers.
It's sad - I know perfectly wonderful women 30+/40+ who are single and can't find a man. The best men in their age group were all taken years previous. If these older women do hitch up with some guy he often turns out to be a woman beater, a waster, uncommitted or a nut. Sometimes all of these together.
People have a go at girls getting themselves up the duff at 13 - but maybe they are the ones that know where it's at! By the time they are 35 the kids are grown up and then mum can think about college and a career if she's so inclined. Mother Nature is on their side.
You go, girl!
FB: "However, that is morally problematic in that it would reduce any resulting children to the level of consumer goods,.."
Excuse me, but I disagree. It sounds to me like the resulting children would be much loved and given an excellent parental roll model. You will have the pleasure of watching the children grow and become (hopefully) resonsible responsible adults.
I say hopefully, because who among parents actually knows what external influence will bear on our children. A sound foundation is the best you can hope to give them.
I'm with Verity. Now I'll butt out.
Lack of men who want to get married? isn't that largely because of crazy divorce laws?
My brother has his own business and works extreme hours, I'd advise him to be very very very careful about getting married and having all his work taken from him.
Dave's right: the divorce laws put up the price of being married. Markets work, so the demand for marriage falls.
I am a fairly well-educated (and desperately maternal) thirtysomething woman who would love to have children. I shall die childless not because I don't want to reproduce but because of the dearth of decent men. The options available to Afro-Caribbean women are very limited.
Only limited by ambition really; there are white men who find it hard to meet black women, especially when idiotic magazines like Time Out prohibit you from specifying "Black Woman" in their Personals which is a bit loopy really
Paul ilc
Apart from "gun-toting drug dealers" there's Islington man, he tends to be emotional and effete, qualities that are distinctly unattractive (incidentally more men in Islington and Camden take viagra than anywhere else in the country - now there's got to be a link with the wet, woolly white liberalism endemic in this part of the metropolis). I did once date a Surrey-dwelling gent from a Spectator-reading family, but he unfortunately moved to Hong-Kong and despite our best efforts to continue the relationship the distance between us killed it. But I might take your advice and delve in the the lonely hearts column of our best right-wing weekly.
Ryan:
I've had this problem all my adult life!!
You're right in that there are more upwardly-mobile Caribbean women than men.
I am fairly well-preserved and look 10 years younger than I actually am, but do not seem to meet anyone with similar values - Islington man is an absolute no-no.
Verity and Anonymous:
Children do thrive best with a mum and a dad. A male father figure is crucial to a boy's concept of who he is. The single-parental matriarchy prevalent in this country is responsible for a lot of social ills. Men from these families are more likely to have educational difficulties, end up in prison and have mental health problems. British Caribbean men fail academically, constitute the bulk of the prison population and are over-represented in the mental health system.
Fathers are also vital for girls who learn to negotiate sexual boundaries when forming relationships as adults (something that many women have problems with, hence the increase in the acquaintance rape figures). The right-of-centre thinktank Civitas has done extensive research in the importance of the role of men in the family.
Call me old-fashioned, but it is immensely selfish to willingly bring a child into the world without a father. God forbid that I produce a couple of feral sprogs like Ricky and Danny Preddie (the evil thugs that murdered poor Damilola Taylor).
Dave and Dearime:
You're right too many women want to have their cake and eat it. They shout for equal rights and witter on about glass ceilings, but will portray themselves as poor helpless victims who are unable to support themselves financially in the event of a marriage breakdown. That gets on my wick.
I men my men to be:
sweaty (fresh sweat is a huge turn on).
able to unscrew jars, change lightbulbs etc.
stoical.
driven.
Rhett Butler to my Scarlett o'Hara.
it is immensely selfish to willingly bring a child into the world without a father
Dead right, FB! And I'm amazed that anyone would would disagree with that on this blog!
You've almost written your Speccie ad at the end of your comment. Good luck!
Foxy - have you thought about a trip across the pond ? Somebody like Professor John McWhorter - young, good-looking, intelligent, and full of good ideas - should just suit you.
I'm familiar with the very wise professor McWhorter through the wonderful City Journal and his columns for other print media in the US. I believe he's already spoken for. It was suggested to me that I look across the pond for Mr Darcy, but a yank, perhaps I'm simply too fussy...
I also to want to stay to fight the cultural gangrenous cancer that is choking this country to death. It's just a pity that I have to do it as part of an underground resistance movement.
I am Anonymous.
"I'm with Verity."
In most posts I find myself in agreement with the Verity person. Given that he/she said three words I may have impunged intent and meanings not held by Verity. So, actually I withdraw that comment, on the balance of probablity it is likely that Verity and I disagree on this matter.
paul ilc said: "Dead right, FB! And I'm amazed that anyone would would disagree with that on this blog!"
Be amazed if you wish. I don't see it is a problem to choose to raise a child or children on your own if you are able.
There are lots of instances of single mothers despite a variety of adversity producing well educated responsible adults.
There are also quite a few instances of rather nasty people produced by apparently respectable nuclear families.
One example of a single-parent family producing a fine and upstanding individual is the family of of Tim Campbell, the first winner of the BBC TWO programme The Apprentice. His mother had three jobs to keep his family fed and clothed.
But this is an exception and for me the exception(s) prove the rule. For every Tim Campbell there are one thousand maladjusted and insecure adults.
Intelligent 30 something woman seeks sweaty right wing man with stiff upper lip for wild nights unscrewing jars.
You'll be beating them off with the proverbial coated stick with that pitch.
Blogner:
Perhaps you should give me your contact details.
I'd love to Foxy. I'm not sure my wife is likely to be so keen on the idea mind.
Blognor:
Nuff said.
There are a few examples of successful individuals being brought up by single mothers - David Davis is one - but the very few that there are appear to be all men.
I don't believe in matriarchies. Both girls and boys need a daddy - boys because they need a role model and they need someone who can enforce boundaries; girls because they have to learn to navigate the male psyche or they will be taken advantage of in all kinds of ways. And they need to see the soft, caring, protective side of men.
Denise Lewis and Kelly Holmes were both raised by their mothers alone.
Anonymous,
All the empirical evidence shows that being brought up in a broken home or (particularly) by a never-married-single-parent very significantly increases your chances of poor educational attainment, low achievement subsequently, poor mental health, committing crime, etc.
Only left-liberal half-wits believe otherwise. Of course, some people buck the trend, but...
Who are Denise Lewis and Kelly Holmes?
Paul ilc - Of course! How is a child to succeed without a role model? If it sees its mother take it and its half brothers and sisters to the Post Office every week for welfare money, of course, it will think that that is normal and won't strive. These children have no contact with normality - just others like themselves. Poor families with a mother and father living together, and perhaps both working, don't associate with the vast welfare class.
Girls brought up by state-dependent single mothers will, in their turn, graduate into single welfare mothers. Boys who have never known the authority of an adult male will have a good chance of turning to crime and gangs. (I know! I know! Of course there are exceptions, like David Davis. But this, by and large is the fate of the vast swelling tide of children brought up, more or less, by single welfare mothers.)
I don't know what the solution to these people is. Society's disapproval used to be enough. But now people are rewarded for having illegitimate children and depending on the state to raise them.
I don't know what the solution to these people is. Society's disapproval used to be enough. But now people are rewarded for having illegitimate children and depending on the state to raise them.
Neither do I, Verity. But part of the answer is not to subsidise and reward immorality and anti-social behaviour. The welfare state is 'non-discriminatory', 'socially inclusive', 'non-judgemental' and 'values diversity' -- i.e it is theoretically value-neutral while being left-liberal in outlook. In so far as any welfare support is provided, it should be (a) time-limited (no benefits for life) and (b) conditional upon behaving responsibly and morally. If you behave in anti-social manner, no or less benefit; and if you then turn to crime, the criminal justice system should come down on you hard.
I'll dream on...!
I think the situation is worse because the single mums don't want to stay single. They find raising kids on their own is tough. So they want a partner, but now they can't get a decent man because they already have someone else's kids in tow. So they end up with some woman beater for a while. And the kids see that going on. Then she kicks that guy out and goes with some other guy. She gets pregnant again - but he can't cope so beats her up, and maybe the kids too, and so she kicks him out. Before you know it she's suffering from depression. Then she self-medicates on heroin. She's responsible for screwing up her own life, but how do you protect the kids and at least give them a fighting chance? The Liberal Left would have us believe that simply throwing money at the problem will solve it - but clearly it won't.
The problem with our Liberal-Left, the Polly Toynbee's of this world, is that they admire Sweden but wouldn't dare emulate it. They don't mess around in Sweden - any sign that a parent can't cope and the kids go straight into state care until a new home can be found. In fact for 40 years the Swedes sterilised women that just looked like they might not be able to cope. No problems with sink estates in Sweden - the people that populate such places were never allowed to be born. But Polly Toynbee won't tell you about that.
Ryan10,
Children are definitely more vulnerable to physical and sexual assault from the hands of a succession of serial 'step-dads.' Long live the nuclear family!!
Wouldn't it be wonderful if Polly Toynbee (one of my best friends absolutely adores her) and her Guardian cohorts emigrated to that liberal-left wet dream otherwise known collectively as Scandinavia?
ryan 10 - re your post, "I think the situation is worse because the single mums don't want to stay single."
Don't they? I have the feeling that they have lost all contact with having a (permanent) man in the home, who has some say over how the children are raised. The men move on - new pub, new totty - leaving their own children behind to be brought up by a socially and mentally inadequate woman. From the photos, they have nothing in their council flats but very large screen TVs, which they watch sitting on the floor, eating chips or jam sandwiches.
And so, being inadequate to run their own lives, the sinister "social services" comes in and kidnaps their lives ...
Britain has been kidnapped, but the fault lies with the British, not the kidnappers.
@ foxy brown
I wonder what Toynbee really thinks about Sweden. I lived there for three years and it is incredibly authoritarian and there must be a high degree of brainwashing of children because most Swedish adults seem to be infantilised. Easier to control them that way of course. Sweden used to produce a lot of world-famous people but those days are long gone. When you have lived in Sweden you realise what George Orwell was thinking of when he wrote "1984".
By the way, thanks for your comments re. abortion - I had not heard that perspective before and it will be useful ammunition for me in the future!
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