Method In His Madness ?

I must try this when the £1800-odd council tax bill drops through the letterbox :

Anthony Bell, 62, told the court he works directly for UN secretary general Ban Ki-moon and though he was unable to pay his £936.96 bill he was expecting $10,000,000 to be wired to his account from Africa in the next few days.

They were among a number of claims he made under cross-examination by solicitor Eleanor Horner, prosecuting for Cotswold District Council.

He's obviously getting some 419s in his email, the poor soul.

Representing himself, Bell said he was a top world advisor on climate change and was due to address the US senate in the next six weeks.

He said that although he only had 7p to his name, the UN was working hard to pay him millions of dollars.

He also told the court he believed his important foreign work, which includes helping to regenerate Africa, meant he was entitled to diplomatic immunity from council tax.

Bell sought to prove his position at the UN by producing a series of ID cards to magistrates, including memberships for the Royal Society of Arts and the University Club in Washington DC.

He said: "I have been running on my own funds and have spent an enormous amount of time in Washington. When you are working 18 hours a day for the UN, you don't have time to pay your council tax."

Prosecuting for Cotswold District Council, Mrs Horner asked Bell: "If you were struggling to pay, why did you not apply for council tax relief?" He replied: "Do you know what it's like to be extremely busy when you are running Africa?"

Mrs Horner answered: "No."

Among other claims given in his evidence, Bell said he had advised Conservative leader David Cameron and Environment Minister Hilary Benn on climate change issues.

He said he had written the framework for the Copenhagen climate change agreement and he was in regular contact with Cotswold MP Geoffrey Clifton-Brown on the issue.

Bell offered magistrates his views on monitoring CCTV cameras in Cirencester and said he had recently been the victim of several attempts on his life.

During a break in court proceedings, Bell said he had been granted US citizenship because "the FBI are very pleased with what I did for them".

A Renaissance sort of a chap, obviously. You can see why 'they' might want him out of the way. But whatever he is, he's not daft.

The court cancelled the debt – totalling £1,153.96 including court fees and costs.

Mr Bell seems to be getting more change out of his local council than the similarly-challenged former MI5 operative David Shayler :

Glancing along a row of empty seats the judge decided to proceed without Mr Shayler and his fellow squatters, remarking: "This particular lot of trespassers usually make themselves fairly well known if they are going to turn up."

Although bailiffs were expected to arrive within the next few days to serve an eviction notice, it is thought likely that the process could take several weeks.

Speaking outside the farmhouse, about five miles from Guildford, Mr Shayler, barefoot but wearing men's clothing, said that his right to stay in the property rested on his belief that he is a reincarnation of Jesus Christ.

"You are looking at the man who has the power to give all authority on the planet and all wealth," he said.

"We are going to stay, I am the lawful user of this place.

"I have publicly claimed under oath that I am the Lord Jesus Christ which means that I am the highest authority under the law and that trumps everything."

I wonder if MI5 are regretting the day when they decided that alcoholic, promiscuous upper class homosexuals no longer represented their ideal recruiting pool ? Still, I suppose it's always possible that Mr Shayler is still in MI5. He's operating under pretty deep cover if he is.