Monday, September 26, 2005

Names From Hell ?

It all started with a wee post on the Times Educational supplement forums.

"Jordan, Liam, Ryan, Conner, Callum, Declan, Kyle, Arren, Shane and Ashley .... Do you think this would be a nice little group to teach ?"

The thread is now 24 pages long and has hit the papers.

Haven't scanned every page, but I note that there are parents who call their kids Holly Wood and Tia Maria, Pocohontas, Paige Three, Denim, Calico, Gucci and Versace, although "Duane Pipe" may be an urban myth.

"An 8 letter christian name and a double barrelled surname of any kid in an unsalubrious place is a dead cert for special needs ... " on the other hand "Kwesi, Kwadjo, Kwabena, Kwaku, Yaw, Kofi and Kwame (all Ghanaian names- the most polite and respectful society I know)"

Oh dear.

Recently, at the school where my mother teaches, a mother took her child to be registered. When asked the child's name she said SHLORE (apparently she had found the name in a baby book). When asked to spell the name as it was unusual, she replied 'C H L O E'.


Anonymous said...

Actually Liam, Ryan, Con(n)or, and Ca(l)lum are perfectly respectable names in Scotland.

Regional differences do matter, you know.

Anonymous said...


But in underclass England these names are just bound for trouble. We await the 14-year-old Callums, Ryans, Connors, et al, replete with their knives, sovereign rings, sexual appetites and utter disrepect for authority, with trepidation.

Anonymous said...

Underclass England? Your comment beggars belief - I suggest you buy a suitcase and do a little travelling - might broaden your mind Anonnymouse.... tsk

Anonymous said...

My name is Kate

Anonymous said...

I think it all depends on where you are - some of these names imply Irish descent, not necessarily dodgy families - although a Joseph will be a better marker of good behaviour than a Liam. But Shane, Kyle, Jordan - watch out.