Someone needs to have a word with Detective Inspector Simon Crisp.
Det Insp Simon Crisp said: "The reasons surrounding why Dean was assaulted remain a mystery and there is no clear motive.
"It is quite possible that this was a minor assault that went wrong and the offender did not intend to end Dean's life."
Perhaps he's like to give his definition of a successful minor assault.
UPDATE: Chief EDF Frog Back on the Case!
9 hours ago