An exceedingly large Lambeg drum.
I've always been a sucker for pipes and drums of whatever form, although the bagpipes are my favourite (Bonnie Dundee ! That tune could raise an army). I love the clipped, military side drum style.
I wonder if there's a music package that emulates a flute band ? It seems to me that the style lends itself to being adapted to all sorts of silly tunes. I'd feel a bit nervous about asking these guys (watch Skilly, the amazing baton man) to take a stab at "Hips Don't Lie", for example - but on a computer one could try it out. Failing that, my daughter plays the flute and we have a half-size drum kit in the house !