Ler's increase the penalties for smoking.
And reduce them for murder. Note the BBC's 'US-style' spin. We'll get US style categories - and British style sentences.
Education's just fine as it is.
The NHS - Pride of Britain. If you get maggots on your face in 'intensive' care, what's bog-standard care like ?
And drink-related deaths in Scotland rise 350% in 20 years. Didn't the Scots introduce 24-hour drinking a while back ? Say about 20 years ago ?
And remember last year's population figures, showing 19% of English births and 47% of London births were to mothers from outside the UK ?
This year's figures are 20% and 49%.
Oh, and there's no pensions crisis.
The move is likely to be watched closely by other firms.
Companies have previously tried to control costs by closing final salary pension schemes to new employees, but no large company had "dared take this step", one pensions expert told the Financial Times.
The National Association of Pension Funds said that other company pension schemes would increasingly have to follow Rentokil's approach.
There's not one here either.
Friends Provident is investigating the whereabouts of staff pension contributions at Unwins, the off-licence chain, as the troubled high street retailer was forced into administration last night threatening the future of about 2,000 jobs.