Liberal Left Has Fit Of Daily Telegraphs

Rioting ? Secondary picketing ? Otherwise breaking the law ?

"Just a moment, sir, are you a member of a designated oppressed class as defined in Section 21 of the 1998 'People We Like' act ?"

"Well, I'm a fox-hunting Ulster loyalist who owns a haulage company."

"Gay ?"

"Nope"

"Black ? Lesbian ? Disabled ? I must say you don't look like any of those - not that I'm stereotyping, of course"

"Sorry"

"Your secondary picketing - is that related to Gate Gourmet ? Animal experiments ?"

"Fuel protests"

"Then I'm afraid, sir, that under the act I'm not empowered to look for root causes for your violence, sir. It's just rampant lawlessness - rampant, I tell you ! The TUC don't want to know about your picketing, either. I am however empowered to give you this."

SMACK !

"Owww, that hurt ! I'll tell Liberty about this !"

"You go right ahead, sir, but I think you'll find they're all occupied defending people who want to trash American Air Force bases. Civil liberties aren't for the likes of truckers, Christians, England football supporters and other low-life".

"What about England cricket supporters ?"

"Fascist !"