Task Force ! Tsar ! Crackdown ! Initiative !

In olden, unhip days they were called 'committees' or 'talking shops'. Then some branding whizzkid decided 'task force', with its residual overtones of Harriers, helicopters and SAS men, sounded a lot more exciting.

So a big shout for the behaviour task force :

It was asked to advise on "strategies to ensure effective school discipline, improve parental responsibility for their children's behaviour and deliver a culture of respect in all schools".

Par for the course. Let's deliver a few strategies, shall we ? You could be in any marketing or HR department. And a 'culture of respect' ? Well, lots of posters in schools, a few free mugs and mousemats, some surveys - no problem. I look forward to the appointment of 'respect champions' in all schools and Respect Co-ordinators in all local authorities. It's amazing how much money it costs to produce the appearance of doing something.

Entertaining to see that the Prime Minister wonders if parents of unruly kids shouldn't stay at home to look after them - this from the govenment that penalises full time mothers. Joined up government. Don't worry, it'll never be implemented.

Islamic extremism ? No worries. The extremist taskforce will sort it. And with the other hand, we'll subsidise extremists. Joined up government.

I should think Omar Bakri Mohammed can look forward to many more years of Income Support, paid council tax and housing benefit. After all, for thirty years one Gerry Adams was paid Social Security by the British taxpayer as an 'unemployed barman'.

We're already proposing to pay children not to misbehave. Only poor kids, of course - like the Williams sisters or Omar Bakri's kids. We're already paying them to go to school. It can't be long before we're paying them not to blow things up.