Cat Put Down In Maine

Yusuf Islam - the artist formerly known as Cat Stevens – has been refused entry to the United States because he is a Muslim.

So, without quotes, reports the Black Information Link. The White Information Link was unavailable for comment, but the hideously white Scotsman, using quotes correctly, reports that "a US government source said Islam was refused entry because of fears that he had financially supported the terrorist group Hamas."

In other interviews, Mr Islam claimed that he was 'being followed by a CIA shadow'. Asked by a female reporter what he thought of the ban, he lapsed into street argot, saying, 'My lady, da ban vile !'.