Everyone knows that claims of links between immigration and crime are fabrications of the right-wing media, pandering to the lowest prejudices of the brutish Native Brits.
A year ago, Chris Fox, the first full-time president of the Association of Chief Police Officers, said "Mass migration has brought with it a whole new range of and a whole new type of crime, from the Nigerian fraudsters to the Eastern European dealer in drugs and prostitutes to the Jamaican concentration on drug-dealing."
"Anger At Police Claim", said the Guardian, quoting refugee organisations who criticised his remarks as "unfortunate and irresponsible". The great Aaronovitch has said that "there is no greater propensity among immigrants towards crime, prostitution and anti-social behaviour than among the population at large".
Our Criminal Justice system must be even more institutionally racist than we thought then - because according to the BBC 10% of all UK prisoners are now foreign nationals. A rough calculation - that's over 7,000 people.
Ah, of course - they're all 'drugs mules' - poor, ignorant women conned and coerced by evil criminal masterminds into swallowing coke-stuffed condoms. Well with "550 Jamaican women, overwhelmingly drugs mules" here - double up for a similar number of equally poor Nigerians - you're still looking at some 6,000 other offenders.
Remarkable. With no greater propensity to crime, they MUST be the innocent victims of our racist society.
Many migrants of course come from societies where crime is much rarer and far less tolerated than in the UK. India has high poverty but remarkably safe streets. In African countries like Kenya and Tanzania it's not uncommon for shoplifters to be chased and beaten to death by bystanders - a custom which would make Saturday morning in Swindon quite a bloodbath - for the first week.
Only last month Joseph Nwabuko was shot trying to stop a robbery. And a son of immigrants, the late and great Tasawar Hussain, was shot dead by armed robbers Barry and Derek Elener in Bradford last year while bravely trying to prevent their escape. Beyond the tragedy of a brave man's death two aspects of this case sadden me.
This morning one of the police officers involved was interviewed by Nikki 'I'm Not A Bleeding Heart Liberal' Campbell on Radio 5. The officer said Hussain was a brave man who had 'just instinctively done the right thing'.
Campbell - 'So you're saying that's the right thing to do - you should have a go'.
You could hear the alarms going off in the officer's mind. 'Er, well - members of the public should not attempt to stop armed robberies - they should call the police'.
What kind of country do I live in, I thought ? The Liberal Democrats have let me know. Mr Hussain's widow and young daughters will be pleased to know that along with various other useful idiots, the Lib Dems will be campaigning for her husband's killers to be given the vote.
Cuthbertson and Mel P. hand out the ritual shoeing.
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