Thursday, October 09, 2008

US, UK Governments - "Send More Money"

Dear Taxpayer,

The $800 billion US and $450 billion British bailouts have proved highly effective pilot projects, and in some cases have seen share prices fall less quickly or even on occasions rise.

However, as was always made plain, these were only trials of the technique. Following today's largest one-day Dow fall since 1987, and continuing weakness in London, it has been decided that the pilot phase is over, and that some real money is necessary.

A task force consisting of the most highly regarded tax lawyers have for several days examined the options for moving us forward, and there are three :

a) a massive reduction in government spending. Ridiculous. Only a strong state can protect the vulnerable at this critical time. And don't you feel just a little bit vulnerable ? Of course you do. You need to be protected, don't you ? And told what to do. Spending cuts would plunge the world into depression and a new Dark Age.

b) a massive increase in taxes. Not so ridiculous, but may impact upon the wealth creators who more than ever are vital to the economy. Could plunge the world into depression and a new Dark Age. Nonetheless, some taxes will rise. Value Added Tax will rise on November 1st by the value of the rate of inflation (measured by the new Energy Price Index - currently at 24%).

c) a further substantial increase in liquidity - the so-called "Mugabe Miracle" option in its Weimar variant. Would wipe out all debts in very short time and massively enrich "us"* all. While this option successfully restarted the German economy in the late 1920s, some worry that it led to the persecution of minorities. We have examined the British and American situations and are firmly convinced that persecution, if anything is likely this time to be the other way round. The only serious risk is of a shortage of wheelbarrows. It is this third option that has been decided upon as our - as your - best way forward in the continuing financial uncertainty.

You need do nothing at this moment. Stay indoors and listen to the radio. We thank you for your patience. Your vote is important to us. You are being held in a queue. Your call may be recorded - as may your email, browsing habits and text messages.

Best Regards

G.W. Bush
G. Brown

pp Ug, the Giant Lizard, Secret Ruler of the World

* ("us" i.e. not you)


Anonymous said...

What do you make of the US decision to relax "mark to market" rules.

In theory a bad mortgage is never worth nothing. Even with house price deflation the house can still be sold for something. Yet mark to market rules mean the bank has to value its assets at the market rate. Since no one wants to buy these at present they are valued in the market at nothing. Hence the banks are technically insolvent even though if those "worthless" assets were realised they would be worth a proportion of their original value. ie these assets are falsely undervalued. The banks won't loan money because they need it to improve their balance sheets. They wouldn't need to act so if their "worthless" assets were valued at a more realistic rate.

Anonymous said...

My name is supposed to be a secret.

Harry J said...

Whether or not the secret ruler or rulers of the world are non human or not is not a question I can answer. Without doubt though there very definitely is a widespread conspiracy for a 'One World Government' that is moving into it's endgame. Believe me, all that's happening now is only for starters. Some sort of civil strife is expected with the smart money on the main protagonists being Muslims. All the appeasement we've seen is priming them ready for when the time's right.

It's David Icke who has popularised the 'reptilian' theory but not everyone who has studied the 'New World Order' agrees with him. In fact many actively dispute his claims and suggest that Icke himself has fallen victim to a misinformation campaign with the result that the whole idea of there being a 'conspiracy' is bought into disrepute. I came to Icke's ideas after having read Robert Temple's scholarly work 'The Sirius Mystery' and for that reason I keep an open mind. Nothing would surprise me.

I can understand people's reluctance to consider this matter seriously. I was exactly the same until I took a good look. The trouble is that I've yet to find the definitive film I can suggest people watch. Try any or all of the following for an introduction to the 'bigger picture'.

Anonymous said...

Aliens or something closer to home, the film to watch is 'They Live'.

Clue, its certainly not about yuppies as some deluded half-wits on the talkboards seem to think.

Back in the 70s Jimmy Carter cancelled the enormously B-1 bomber project. Right wingers and cold warrior pundits were appalled, he was accused of being in thrall to the leftist peacemongers etc. But...he knew something they didnt - the stealth technology that led to the equally enormously expensive F-117 and B-2 rendered the B-1 redundant in its intended role, so the B-1 wouldnt be needed.

Carter felt that it was too expensive to fund both and thats what did for the B-1. Except when Reagan arrived, he reactivated the B-1. That made him look like the tough guy but the reason was the delayed arrival of the stealth planes gave a window of life to the B-1. Again the armchair warriors of the chattering classes didnt know about this stuff.

Just to illustrate that the actions of the great & the good make sense when you know the missing details.