Thursday, June 24, 2004

Cultural Suicide

Rasputin is very excited about a new translation of the Bible produced by wadical Chwistian organisation One (their name refers to the total membership). Like all good radicals they value diversity of everything except thought and opinion.

Apparently it's a book of 'extraordinary power' which Dr. Williams hopes will spread 'in epidemic profusion through religious and irreligious alike'.

We're taking optimism into a whole new dimension here. If, as Muslims and some Hindus think, madness is a sign that God has touched you, some people have been well and truly touched.

He also reckons 'we have here a vehicle for thinking and worshipping that is fully earthed'. I wish the same could be said of my old BSA, with its electrics by Joe Lucas, the Prince Of Darkness.

Let's see this work in all its glory, next to the hideously sexist, racist and homophobic version by the late King James VI of Scotland.

Matthew 3:1-3

Authorised version:

In those days came John the Baptist, preaching in the wilderness of Judea,
And saying, Repent ye: for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.
For this is he that was spoken of by the prophet Isaiah, saying,
The voice of one crying in the wilderness,
Prepare ye the way of the Lord,
Make his paths straight.


It was the time when John the Dipper started speaking in the desert.
"Change your ways", John shouted. "God's New World will be here any day now!"
Isaiah, one of God's speakers, talked about John the Dipper. He said,
"Listen for the 'Voice' in the desert, shouting,
"Repair the road for God; straighten out the bends!"

Matthew 23:25

Authorised version: “Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites!”

New version: “Take a running jump, Holy Joes, humbugs!

I'll keep a lookout for it in the bestseller lists.

UPDATE - young Mr Cuthbertson gives it what you might call a lukewarm review.

"The best analogy that comes to mind is of someone scrawling a cheesy grin on the Mona Lisa."

Oliver Kamm's not too happy either.

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